Having big wave of emotions

Feels like screaming >>>>> to let out all the emotions.phew.

Having waves of irritation in the past few days. What is the feeling of being pressured to do things when you are sicked --- utterly sick --- Even a medical leave wont do you good as you have to work regardless of it. I am just feeling not worth that money is more important than your health, that everyone else has the privileges of not doing so while you slough your soul out. Worst so, if that came from the one closest to you. I feign ignorance and be rude not because I am stubborn, I feel pain for you, guess you wont understand. All you know is to take care of everyone else except for yourselves....

Being alone in the office during work doesn't help. It makes my withdrawal to talk to you about what is happening to me these days or explain for my behaviour, even so at home. Home = Room and not elsewhere, as this is the only place that I shunt from anyone else except you. From the old man that screams all day and who loves to order people around. From all nagging in the world telling me 'you should not do this and that'.

I know my attitude is very wrong but I cant help but show it all. Tell me you understand alright? Family does matters, what about me?

I yearn to get away for a short trip to cool myself and to regain buddiness and happiness, but again will that be happening? Even a whole years' leave ain't good for me if you don't have any.

bah bah bah... Life's so different for everyone huh.....


Enjoying the loneliness over again

Cake