Life is as such

How often in the world do you envy someone else's life? I do, everyday, when I see all sort of people of my age, younger than me and doing better than me.

I see them being younger, prettier and fare better than me leading a colourful life while I struggle with the days and with the penny.

I am not plain green with envy, just secretly wish that somehow someday in the near near future I can be a step closer and in line with their kind of life, more colours and meaning than a plain simple life; which exactly is not that bad but I will rather have it spice up a nitty bit.

I see people making plans when I do not have one because I feel it is that hard to reach. Or perhaps I am afraid of failing and that causing me never to ever have a head start. Or simply, I did not know where to begins.

People are starting to question about my life onwards. Do you have a plan? My answer is always the same: " I don't know, we will see how it goes from here."

I do not want to have high expectation to have to fall from it.

Sometimes I am scared because it feels like I am forcing something on you. I do want to be part of you but would you mind to consider my part first and not also flying in solo and deciding without me in your head and heart. I never say it out because I simply did not know how to, I rather write it down cause perhaps you may prove me wrong and whatever I have written I can erase with happiness that may embrace me. I am eagerly waiting for it to happen.

That apart I am smiling ear to ear when I witness the happiness that embraces my besties. Moving on one step closer and signing the pact together is that sweetest thing by far!
And when you have the other half that side you no matter what happens melts my heart away cause you have long deserved it. Eagerly waiting for the arrival of the little one which may just happens to have the same birthday as me! who knows right! Or perhaps a dragon baby! but but but being born as a Capricorn is just as good cause we are the strong and determined ones! Just like me haha!

Indeed, actions speaks louder than gazillion words, I want to see it from you and not just plain hearing.

Till then,

Kate is walking in circle and lost in the way to the exit.